The Successor
by 26hannah26
Summary: David the assistant coroner leaves and his replacement, Lily Gavin, starts work in the morgue. Oh, and she catches the eye of a certain Texan... NickOC R and R would be nice! Reuploaded just to make it easier to read. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

A/N Hey there this is a fic set somewhere before Sara stops drinking. The character of Lily is one that I've been thinking about and decided to try out how she would work in a story so let me know what you think - I have more chapters if anyone wants them! Peace out!

"Oh David, I can't believe you're leaving!" Sara surprised herself at the outburst, turning a pleasant shade of pink. She had felt something for him previously, but that was years ago, and now David was a newlywed so she had put her feelings away in a little box inside her, along with her feelings for Grissom and the memories of her childhood.

"Er…I mean we're going to miss you – all of us. Er…congratulations." She hurried, before giving up on the sentiment completely, and casting a sideward glance at Nick and Warrick who were laughing silently at her misfortunes.

After watching her walk back to the party and fumbling with the new wedding band on his finger, David turned to Nick, who was still laughing a little.

"So Dave, Florida huh? I thought it was only the old folks who moved there."

"Well, the wife's family live down there" he said blushing slightly "and people mostly die of natural causes, what with a third of the population being over 70."

"That's gotta make the job a little easier" said Nick with a knowing smile. Sometime he wished his job was a little easier, just so he could get home on time at least once a week.

"Yeah that's true…" David turned around as Catherine tapped his shoulder.

"Hey David, still can't believe you're really going!" she smiled, shaking his hand and planting a kiss on his cheek. "Oh and I thought you might like to meet your successor. David, Nick, this is Lily Gavin," she said, moving aside so Lily was in full view. "She used to live down the street and babysat Lindsey when she was younger."

Lily was about thirty years old, a few inches taller than Catherine, with red hair and sparkling green eyes. She reached out and shook the two men's hands. She thought Nick held her hand a little too long, but assumed it was just wishful thinking – he was gorgeous after all! Her cheeks glowed the same colour as her hair (she hated when that happened) and she thought she heard Nick let out a little chuckle, but she wouldn't look up at him to verify it.

"So you'll be replacing me? Have you met Doc Robbins yet? He'll show you the ropes, don't worry." David tried to break the silence, and succeeded. Lily looked up from her shoes and replied "Oh yes, he's a lovely man, very talented."

"Oh David, I almost forgot, Grissom has a gift for you from the whole team. Let's go get it, shall we?" Catherine interrupted them, and strolled over to Grissom with David, winking at Nick as she passed.

"Er…Um…" was all Nick could manage to say to Lily.

"Are you a CSI?" She asked, having finally overcome her choked-up feeling, "I've always thought that would be a cool job."

"Oh it is," he said, "let's go get a drink and I'll tell you about it."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thanks to everyone who review it's much apreciated, here's chapter 2 like I promised. Admittedly I did get a bit carried away with the parenthesis IMO! But yeah hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

After three drinks with Lily, Nick felt like he knew almost everything about her, or all of the information she was willing to give him at least – they had just met two hours ago after all.

He knew where she was born (Louisville, Kentucky), the names and ages of her siblings (35 year old Marci, whom she loved dearly but always felt inferior to; her twin brother Grant, who even at four minutes older had been the dominant one, which she didn't mind in the slightest; and the baby Jade – although she didn't mention much about her) and even that she was pushed into pursuing medicine as a career after she graduated high school two years early, which was something that intimidated Nick. And she was shocked (him too) that she has blurted out she couldn't cope with the pressure as an ER doctor, and had even felt close to suicide when she was disillusioned on too much coffee after a fifty-five hour shift – hence the reason she no longer touched the stuff now, she just drank alcohol with complete strangers, even if they were handsome – devilishly handsome her grandmother would say. But she was getting distracted again…

Short of giving him her social security number, Lily felt Nick had heard enough about her, it was his turn now. But before any Texan-twanged words had come from his mouth, Greg hurried over and said something hushed to Nick. Lily had just caught the words 'Sara', 'drunk' and 'home'.

Nick shook his head. Sometimes he wished he didn't live so close to Sara because whenever she got drunk at one of their 'CSI parties' he was always the one putting Sara in the car, dropping her home and seeing her in, then hosing the puke from the passenger side the next morning. But this time he was with a beautiful girl.

"Damn it, Sara," he thought, then said, "Ok, Greg, tell her I'll be right out,"

Then he turned to Lily. "I'm sorry, but I have to take her home."

"It's fine." She replied, although she was somewhat disappointed, "I guess I'll see you at work," and with that she walked back over to where Catherine was sitting and listened to the latest story about Lindsey's school troubles, all the time watching for Nick's return.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I know I promised y'all this would be a longer chapter but thinking about it I'm probably lying! It doesn't seem that long really, but i have chapter 4 ready to go!

Opening the car door and putting one sneaker-clad foot on the dusty ground, Lily steadied herself as the searing heat hit her like a freight train. Climbing all the way out of the blissfully air-conditioned car and grabbing her bag from the passenger seat, she then set off toward the crowd of people some 20 feet away.

"Evenin'" she said quietly, and the crowd parted. This made her think of her Sunday-school teaching, as a five year old in the stuffy back room of the church on her street with her brothers and sisters and numerous neighbourhood children. She really didn't miss that, even though she still didn't understand why her parents made her go – the weren't particularly religious themselves.

As cops and CSIs stood aside, she saw Nick look up from reloading his camera long enough to catch his eye and look away again quickly. 'This is gonna be awkward' she thought to herself, as she heard him ask for identification details from the detective who introduced himself at the party as Jim Brass.

She performed her duties in a blur – took the liver temperature and made note of any obvious injuries or signs of the cause of death. She was barely concentrating, although she had been doing this job long enough now to be able to do it with her eyes closed.

The light had grown gradually dimmer during her time in the middle of nowhere in the Nevada desert, but as she was loading the vic into her van, she was struck by how tired it was making her feel. She yawned as she took of her gloves, then gave a little shudder as she always did. She hated the way they made her hands smell afterwards, and no amount of washing or lemon-scented moisturiser could get rid of it, but she had gotten used to it over time – like most aspects of the job that she disliked – but she wouldn't have it any other way.

Lily heard a familiar soft chuckle from behind her, and as she whipped round, she saw Nick grinning at her – the grin that made her knees feel as if they could go from underneath her at any moment.

"Long time no see," he said softly removing his sunglasses. "How you been?"

"Um..." she was reminded once again of when they first met "...Good thanks." She knew it would be awkward, and yet she hadn't been prepared.

He smiled at her again and said, "I believe I owe you a drink."

How could she refuse?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Hey everyone thanks for the reviews this is the most I've ever had (although I'm still fairly new at this!) they are much appreciated! Enjoy!

Lily lifted her head, then thought better of it, and she flopped back down. Her head was killing her, and her mouth felt dry. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she lifted her head again.

This wasn't her bed...This was a sofa. Not hers though – too uncomfortable, with a horrible pattern. She was beginning to feel her heart race. Where was she?

Swinging her legs round and placing her bare feet on the green carpet, then wondering what had happened to her shoes, she stared around the room. Years of working with the police had taught her how to take note of her surroundings and estimate the danger she was in, if any, she still wasn't sure. Another sofa (same horrid pattern), a rug very similar to the one sitting in her own living room, a TV that had a fine layer of dust over the screen that lead her to believe whoever lived here either didn't watch it much or didn't give a damn about the state of their home. A tall bookcase faced her, the top shelf lined with a neat row of encyclopaedias, just out of reach, which would suggest that they weren't used frequently, although one was out and, she noticed, was sitting on the coffee table. Next to it was an outdated edition of TV Guide, and a dirty coffee cup. And a photo. A photo sat on the coffee table in a modern glass and metal frame. A woman smiled back at Lily, as if watching her reaction to her situation. Next to the woman was a young man in a football jersey, with dark hair and eyes, just like the young man. Those eyes – Nick's eyes.

'Oh my god...This is Nick's house!' she thought, jumping up and almost startling herself in the otherwise stillness. She still struggled to remember how she had ended up there. She just hoped she hadn't made a fool of herself.

A noise from the next room made her jump again. Before she had time to compose herself, her hair sticking up at all angles, still wondering where her shoes had ended up, a dishevelled looking Nick appeared in the doorway. More awkwardness hung in the air, just like every time she saw him.

"Good morning." he said, looking like he was nursing the same headache as she was. "I forgot you were here." He chuckled, then clutched his head, not ready for that kind of noise this early in the morning.

"Yeah...about that..." she started, not sure how to proceed. "What am I doing here?"

And so the story started. Like Nick had promised, they had gone for drinks after work. A little bar down the street from the morgue, with a scary lady behind the counter who's eyebrows seemed to be drawn on, but you couldn't be sure. And just like at the party, they started talking and found it difficult to stop. One drink turned turned into five. Because both had realised if they stopped drinking they would have to stop talking. So five drinks had turned into ten. Then (Nick assumed, his car wasn't parked out front) they had gone back to his place and fallen asleep.

"You staying for breakfast?" he asked after they had worked out what had happened.

"No, I'd better not", Lily replied, "I have to go into work at lunchtime...I need to get some sleep. Your sofa isn't exactly comfortable" She laughed – she still didn't know where her shoes were.

"I know." He laughed again. Nick, unlike Lily, was a morning person, even with a hangover. "I'll call you a cab."

"It's OK, I could do with the fresh air. Thanks though. I don't suppose you know where I left my shoes, do you?"

"Uh yeah, they're in the vase next to the front door."

Ten minutes later, Lily walked out the front door, shoes in hand, a big smile on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I forgot to mention this last time - did anyone wonder what Lily and Nick were doing in the ten minutes before she left his house? I hadn't even realised that i had written it like that until a while later...But yeah this is chapter 5! [A/N This story was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

Turning the key in the lock, Lily let herself in through her front door. She was surprised that she didn't feel very tired, but decided it would be wise to sleep before going into work in – she had counted in her head as she looked at the clock on the hall table, next to the phone and a photo of her and her Grandmother – seven hours. Walking into the kitchen, and kicking off the shoes that she had put on halfway back to her house after she almost stepped in a nasty-looking puddle on the pavement, she got herself a glass of water and proceeded to take two aspirins. Tilting her head back to swallow, she was reminded of the dull pain throbbing in her neck, from having slept on that sofa all night. Her head was still pounding. 'Never again', she told herself, although she knew it wouldn't last for long.

She stripped off yesterday's clothes as she made her way to the bedroom and rummaged in the drawers for clean pyjamas. Then, climbing into her bed with a grin plastered on her face, she thought about the last place she had fallen asleep. Nick's sofa. As uncomfortable as it was, she wished she was lying there instead of in her cold (albeit comfortable) bed.

Across town, Nick was also going back to bed, after draining his second cup of coffee. He too had to go to work in a few hours. His head pounding as he haphazardly put his mug in the sink, he thought about Lily and how he wished he could remember the night before clearer.

* * *

"Hand me that scalpel, would you?"

The words cut through the otherwise silent, cold air in the morgue.

"Sure thing," Lily replied to Doc Robbins' request. She had been working in the coroners' office for three weeks now, and had only encountered Nick once since they got drunk together – he had come into the autopsy room with Sara a few days ago, but had let her do all the talking and left lily feeling very red-faced. She got the feeling he was trying to avoid her...

"Some time today would be good. You've got to get out to the crime scene that Nick is at."

Lily jumped – she had been daydreaming again. It had been happening more frequently recently. For three weeks, if she was precise. And now she had to face Nick.

"Sorry," she said hurriedly, "I was just thinking about back home. It's my dad's birthday today. When I lived in Kentucky, we'd all go out to his favourite restaurant. I still don't have many friends around here, just a few from university."

"You studied here in Vegas?" He asked, obviously unaware of this new information – even though he had hired her.

"Yeah, I lived down the street from Catherine Willows, with my brother."

Just then, the phone rang. Lily walked to the other side of the room to answer it.

"Las Vegas Coroner's Office, Lily Gavin speaking, how may I help you?" She asked the rehearsed question in her best phone-voice – not too much of a Southern twang, but plenty of charm, and like you had a smile the size of a Cadillac on your face. Those were the words of the daytime assistant coroner, not hers. That man could be so darn patronising when he wanted. She'd like to smack that stupid grin off his face, too...

A fuzzy voice on the other end of the phone that didn't sound much like anyone she knew replied gruffly, "Doctor Robbins, please, it's urgent. Hurry."

Handing the phone to the Doc, she walked back to the autopsy table and resumed dissecting a gunshot victims brain. She was trying not to listen to the phone conversation, because she knew how self concious she felt when making a phone call in front of other people, but the hushed and worried tone that the man had taken on made her wonder what was happening. Perhaps something had happened to his wife, or there was some other kind of family emergency. She hoped it was nothing to serious. But the tone of his voice suggested otherwise. Looking over her shoulder, she saw his face drop.

"Right...Yes, I understand...OK...Good luck. Bye."

He stood there for a few seconds. By the time Lily had realised he had stopped talking on the phone, he was standing next to her. He looked serious. The whole time she had been working with him, he was always smiling or laughing at some mishap or a joke he had heard from a policeman. Now she knew something was wrong.

"What's going on?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm. She was failing. It was nothing to do with her, but ever since she was a child she had hated being in the kind of situation where someone was getting bad news. It made her feel very uncomfortable, understandably. Much like now.

"That was Grissom on the phone. Something has happened...At a crime scene. Nick has gone missing."

At that moment, Lily was sure she felt her heart stop.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N Hey y'all! Hows it doing? I have had so much fun writing this (although I had to post it again because when I read it through I noticed so many mistakes it made me feel quite ill!) Thanks to FutureMissCSI60 for the link to the Grave Danger transcripts - without it this chapter wouldn't have been possible! Enjoy! [A/N This story was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

'If only I'd got there sooner...If I hadn't been daydreaming...'

'We were swamped...If we hadn't had those two blonde women who got shot...'

Thoughts were rolling round in Lily's head, like something had come loose up there. There was too much to be thought all at the same time that she was confusing herself. She was meant to be at that scene, she was meant to be collecting the 'Body Parts' that she had been told was there. Maybe if she had, this wouldn't have happened.

Driving down the street well over the speed limit in the coroner's van, she was hardly concentrating on where she was driving. She'd be lucky if she didn't crash. Although right now she felt half dead anyway. This was her fault – they had found out about Nick about 20 minutes ago, and she had already been told by countless people that it wasn't her fault – she hadn't even said it was, people just seemed to sense what she was thinking. Pulling into the parking area where Nick had vanished from, the tires screeching shocked her somewhat.

Getting out of the van and stepping out into the dark, Lily felt oddly vulnerable. She walked over to where the pile of 'Body Parts' was. She imagined Nick looking at it, his brow furrowed, camera in hand. What was happening to him right now? Was he hurt? Was he consious? Was he even alive? She felt like hitting herself as soon as that thought entered her head. Her mind was still racing.

'What if something awful has happened...'

'Maybe I'm just over-reacting...He's probably fine...'

Standing across from her, Catherine looked down as Lily crouched on the ground by the pool of blood. The two exchanged weary smiles.

"Lily, get this stuff to the Doc."

"Look, I'm...I'm really sorry I didn't get here sooner. Maybe if I had..."

"We're going to get him back, Lily."

At that moment, a man she knew as Conrad Ecklie walked over. She had met him occasionally, but had never really spoken to him. Nick had told her he was a real piece of work, only interested in glory, not actually doing his job. Nick... Every time she thought about him, not knowing where he was, she felt close to tears – more than close, actually.

* * *

Back in the relative safety of the autopsy room, Lily, Catherine and Doc Robbins all stood around the table in the centre of the room with the pile of 'Body Parts' placed somewhat carelessly on it – her and the Doc on one side, Catherine on the other. All were looking stressed, and had realised that they had reached a dead end. The Doc's soft voice broke the news to Catherine.

"Well, there are a lot of intestines here, but no appendix, which made sense when I saw this. A cecum."

"Dog entrails." Catherine said, the disappointment evident in her voice. She felt so helpless, and angry. But so did everyone. They had lost one of their own – well, not quite lost. Yet.

"Yeah."

"That's not going to help." Turning to leave, she tried to hide her face. It wasn't their fault they'd reached a dead end, but she couldn't help feeling disheartened. But she knew Lily wasn't going to give up that easily – Catherine knew she liked Nick, and she saw the look on her face when the two women had met up at the crime scene.

"I'm sorry," the Doc said, and she turned back around. "Catherine, has Nick's family been informed?"

"No...That would be my job." She replied with a grimace on her face. Then she left.

Lily let out a heavy sigh. She couldn't believe they were failing Nick so badly.

"This may seem like a stupid question, but are you OK?"

"Huh?" Daydreaming again, Lily Gavin – after last time? She would have to do something about that, she was constantly drifting off into her own world. But it could wait until after they got Nick back...If they got him back. She cursed herself for thinking like that. The Doc was still looking at her, trying to work out what was going on in her head. She realised her was waiting for an answer. She decided to ask him outright what he thought would happen. He was usually very honest.

"Do you really think he's OK?"

He paused for a few moments, obviously thinking how to word his reply without causing any undue upset. Eventually, he began, "Honestly? I think we all just need to think positively. If we start thinking negatively, then we are just setting ourselves up for disaster."

Well, already she wasn't doing too well – she had just been thinking about them not getting Nick back at all. If anything happened now she would never forgive herself. She just needed to hear his voice again. That voice that reminded her of home – it made her feel safe. Now she felt anything but safe. If this could happen to Nick, the man with hero status in the lab, then it could most certainly happen to anyone.

* * *

The couple walked down the corridor of the lab. Lily saw them as the walked past the glass door of the break room, where she was sat with Warrick, who was looking exasperated at being told to sit and take time to think. The man, about Grissom's age, was tall and quite thin but solid-looking with greying hair. He was dressed in a suit the same colour. The woman, who Lily recognised from somewhere but couldn't quite place, had brown hair with the odd grey. It sat loosely at her shoulders, where a faded red dress hung. Both looked like they hadn't slept. Still looking out of the door, Lily saw Catherine approach them and usher them into Grissom's office. Before the door (without a window so no one could see in) was shut behind her, Catherine looked at Lily, and gave her a look that she couldn't quite interpret.

As the it shut, Lily turned to Warrick, who had appeared next to her in the doorway.

"Nick's parents."

She knew she recognised the woman from somewhere – the photo on Nick's coffee table. She looked much different now, though. Her eyes were hollow, and her skin was deathly pale. 'But then again,' Lily thought, 'she has just found out her son is missing.' She couldn't begin to imagine what they were going through.

"I don't think I will be able to handle seeing them when they come out," Warrick said sombrely, as Grissom himself walked into the office. "Tell Catherine I'm going back to see Archie."

He walked out leaving the door open, and Lily was left standing alone, still not quite sure what to do with herself. She felt so lost, and at the same time so tired. She wished so badly for a cup of coffee, and was halfway towards the coffee pot on the counter when she heard Grissom's voice in the hallway. 'That was quick,' she thought, rushing back to where she had been standing 30 seconds earlier. She saw the troupe of people who had entered the small office come back out, led by Grissom. Catherine was at the back with a hand on Mrs Stokes' shoulder. As the two women passed her, the younger one summoned Lily over.

"I think you should see this." She said simply. Nick's parents looked back at her, still in the clothes she was wearing when she heard the news, her hair scraped back away from her face, dark shadows providing a striking contrast to her once-sparkling green eyes. If she was to ever meet Nick's parents, this wasn't really the way she wanted it to happen. They looked at her with tired eyes, although she could tell they weren't really seeing her.

"What is it?" Was all she could manage to croak out.

* * *

In the harsh lights beaming out of various screens in the AV lab, Lily felt like she was a mole coming out of the dark cover of underground. She just wanted to curl up and go to sleep, preferably back at Nick's house on his hideous sofa, or even better in his bed.

Staring at on of the screens, she felt her jaw dropping and tears welling up in her eyes. Nick, lying there with his arm over his eyes. She felt overcome with emotion, she just wanted to reach through the glass and pull him back, to hold him, tell him everything was over and it was over. She would give anything to see his face again – not on a screen, but close up, in real life.

A gasp from his mother made her turn, just quick enough to see Mrs Stokes leave, and stop in the hall, her head down, visibly shaking every time she sobbed. Lily expected Mr Stokes to go after her, but he never broke his gaze towards his son, lying, buried alive.

"Pancho...What the hell you got yourself into?" He said eventually, still staring. Then he left, his gaze now diverted to his feet, and went out to put his arms around his wife. Grissom and Catherine were still standing looking at Nick. All of a sudden, a change came over the woman's face. Her eyes became hard and cold, and she too turned on her heel and strode purposefully out of the room.

"Catherine?" Grissom half called after her, knowing she couldn't hear him. Not because she was too far away, but because he had seen her like this before – the look on her face was determination. She was going to do everything in her power to get Nick back, but he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that it would take a lot more than Catherine's strong-willed nature.

Lily stepped into the doorway, looking at where Catherine had walked just seconds before. She felt an arm around her shoulder. Grissom, the man who never showed emotion, let alone tried to comfort someone he didn't know very well. This, after all, was the reason why he wasn't seen as the 'people person' at crime scenes. But he was very perceptive – she hadn't even shed a tear in front of anyone – yet. As soon as he looked down at her, she cracked. Tears streaming from her eyes and down her cheeks, she felt like she was going to drown. Gasping for air. Now she knew how Nick felt in that tiny box. She felt better after getting it all off her chest. But what about Nick. He had been gone for so long, and time was running out. She just hoped they found him soon. She missed him, missed the way he made her feel, missed his laugh, missed the way he spoke.

"There...Shhh, it's OK. Better now?" Grissom's voice soothed her.

"Yes," she laughed as she wiped smeared mascara from her eyes and face. "Thank you."

"That's OK. Need a ride home?"

"I don't think I can go home...I won't be able to sleep. I'm sure I could be of more use here. You need anything? Coffee? Gin...?"

He interrupted her with a chuckle, and guided her out of the lab. "No, thank you. Now go lie down in the break room, at least. I'm gonna go sort out Nick's parents. Make sure they have a place to stay." Opening the door for her, Grissom gently pushed her through. "See you later. Sleep."

"OK. See you." she said with a slight smile, although she really didn't feel like it. She wouldn't be able to sleep, so she would have too much time to think. Who knew what she would start thinking?

Settling herself down on yet another sofa, this time in the break room, with only the whirr of the coffee maker for company, Lily fell uneasily to sleep. She dreamt several times of Nick, haunted by the image of him lying underground. When she finally woke a few hours later, Greg was standing over her, phone in hand, with his other hand other the mouth piece.

"Lil. Hey, Lily!"

"Wh...What's going on?"


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Hey! This is so much fun, I LOVE writing it! So here you go, chapter 7 (drumroll please!) [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

"What, Greg...Why'd you wake me up?"

Lily groaned – she hated being woken unnecessarily. She felt cranky and like throwing something at the spikey haired CSI. But then she remembered. Nick was missing, she hadn't slept in days, and everyone was on edge. She felt bed for snapping at Greg.

"Sara's on the phone...Oh my gosh..."

"Spit it out, for goodness sake."

"They've found Nick. I need to go and get Cath and Grissom."

"Oh, OK. Wait, you found him?"

Lily forgot to breathe for a moment. Did she hear him correctly? He just said they'd found Nick. Was she imagining it? She was half asleep still.

"Yeah, we managed to track him down. Um...Just in case something happens, Sara said to make sure you were at the morgue...Just as a precaution, you know that right?"

Her heart sank. They knew where he was, but he wasn't safe yet. Was he even alive still – how much oxygen could have been in that box anyway?

"Right. Well, you better go!" Greg nodded and ended the call with Sara. "Go! Go, quick before it's too late!"

Greg looked startled but hurried out of the room anyway. Lily was alone again. She had to be at the morgue, in case he really was dead. That thought was going to stay with her for the rest of her life.

* * *

Unlocking her car door out in the fresh air of the car park, Lily looked up at the sky. Her parents had told her as a child that every time someone died, then a new star grew in the sky. She must have looked up at that same sky thousands of times and not noticed any new stars (but of course she couldn't count them all). As a rebellious teenager, when her best friend was killed in a car accident, she had got a tattoo of a star of her ankle, so every time she looked at it she was reminded of her friend whom she sorely missed. But tonight, standing next to her car, keys in hand, she saw no stars at all up there. None. She hoped that meant Nick was still alive. That's what the free-spirit side of her wanted to think – the part of her that made her feel like walking barefoot was like being at one with the earth. But the scientist in her – the dominant side – told her that there were hundreds of reasons why she could see no stars tonight.

She opened the drivers side door and climbed in. Turning on the ignition, she let out a heavy sigh. Greg had left with Catherine and Grissom about ten minutes. They should be there now, getting Nick out of the ground. But then again, she didn't actually know where he was – Greg hadn't said.

As she pulled out of her parking space and onto the street, Lily heard her phone ringing. She pulled over, then dug around under the seat for a while. Eventually, she found the it right under her seat. She must have dropped it, she hadn't seen it in about 3 days.

Checking the missed calls – two from Doc Robbins, probably asking her what was taking her so long to get into work, and one from her sister Jade – she noticed to icon flashing in the corner of the screen indicating and answerphone message. Lily held the phone to her ear.

"_You have one new message." _the robotic voice chimed out. "_Message one:"_

"_Hey Lily, it's Nick. I'm on my way to a crime scene right now...Body parts, can you believe that? Who leaves body parts in a vacant lot, right next to a dumpster? Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a bar or something afterwards?...No, you're probably busy, so I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow. Well, in about ten minutes, actually, you're meant to be meeting me here." _He chuckled. "_Bye."_

She heard him ring off and the robotic voice asked, "_Do you wish to delete this message?"_

'Of course I don't...This could be the last time I hear his voice!' she thought. She hadn't realised just how much she had missed hearing it.

Putting the phone carefully in her pocket, for fear that the slightest jolt could delete the message, Lily switched the engine back on, and then drove away, back to the morgue.

* * *

Her footsteps echoed down on the hard, cold floor of the Coroner's Office hallway. Letting herself in the heavy metal doors, Lily felt like she was coming home again. The autopsy room had become her world since she moved to Vegas, which was quite sad really when she thought about it.

"I wondered when you were going to get here." a voice said from behind her. Turning round, she saw Doc Robbins sitting on the swivel chair at his desk, one leg propped up on a box containing various types of preserved animal in jars. She always thought of them as being pickled like gherkins. That kind of thought put her off eating them, but she couldn't help it nevertheless.

The two exchanged banter for a good half hour, before the phone ringing made them both fall silent. Lily and the Doc both looked at each other, then they realised that one of them had to answer. She had jumped out of her seat on a nearby gurney when the phone rang, so she nervously made her way over to pick up the receiver.

"Las Vegas Coroner's Office..." She managed to say. "Lily Gavin speaking."

* * *

Lily ran down the corridor of the hospital ward, this time her feet hitting the cold, hard floor but squeaking at the same time. The physical exercise she wasn't used to made her breathing heavy and laboured. She kept going until she saw the group of CSIs and detectives standing outside of the side room, and almost ran into them – her brain didn't feel connected to her feet at the moment.

"Is he OK...He's breathing, he's concious? Well?" she said, not letting anyone have time to answer in the short pause she left for them.

"He's fine...Physically." Grissom eventually said. "He's shaken, understandably, but that's about all we know right now."

"His parents are in there with him now." Brass added, stepping aside so she could see through the window.

There was Nick, lying in a hospital bed, slightly obscured by passing doctors. He had wires and tubes snaking over him, and entering various parts of the body. There were his parents beside him, looking slightly more alive than the last time she had seen them, but still looking weary and worried as they kept a vigil by their son's bed. Actually seeing him made Lily want to cry with relief. He was alive, he was breathing he was awake (but sleeping). She let out a sigh – everything was going to be fine. Turning back to the group, she saw they all looked tired, but were all smiling. He was safe.

* * *

A doctor came out of Nicks side room. He was dressed in casual black jeans and a thick red sweatshirt that bore the embroidered message 'New York: The Big Apple' under his white medical coat. He was about 50, but looked younger because of the thick brown curls on his head, that looked slightly tangled.

"OK, you can go in and see him now, if his parents don't mind. But one at a time." he added as an afterthought, having seen the group of people that had now grown to eleven (with the addition of Archie, Ecklie, Doc Robbins and Sofia) get up from the hard plastic chairs in the waiting area and head for the door.

Grissom went first, followed by Catherine, then Ecklie who pushed his way in before Warrick could notice, and then Warrick himself. He still felt bad that it should have been him lying there now – he had tossed a coin with Nick to see who would get the trash run.

When he left, Sara and Greg went in together now the curly-haired doctor had gone to check on his other patients. Lily could see through the window that Greg had his hand on Sara's knee as she let a few tears slip down her cheeks.

Sofia, who had let the two of them in to see Nick before her, and Brass went in next, while Doc Robbins made a call to his wife explaining why he hadn't made it home for dinner. It was their turn to go in next, and Lily felt herself start to shake. What could she possibly say to Nick? How was your day? Are you hungry? Even asking how he was seemed feeble. She buried her head in her hands and started relaxing breathing – in through the nose, hold for five seconds, then out through the mouth.

She was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. The two detectives came out one after the other, just as Doc Robbins shuffled round the corner on his crutches. It was their turn. Lily got up and took a deep breath. 'Here we go,' she thought.

Opening the door, Lily was instantly hit by Nick's gorgeous smile. Like a 1000 watt light bulb, even though he didn't really have much to smile about right now. He motioned for the two of them to come and sit down beside his bed.

"My two favourite people..." he managed to say. He sounded like he had swallowed broken glass. "How's it going?"

"Never mind us," said the Doc, "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Just a little itchy where the ants got me, but that'll stop soon. I hope."

The two of them exchanged banter for a while, mostly about ants. It was the last think he wanted to talk about, but Nick was too tired to protest.

After a while, he looked over at Lily with his big brown eyes, which were now accompanied by dark shadows, and said, "And how are you doing, Darlin'?"

She smiled at him. It took her a while to find her voice, but she eventually said, "I'm OK...I've missed you..." and immediately regretted it. He didn't really need to know that now, did he.

"I missed you too. Did you get my message?"

"Yeah, about 2 hours ago." They both laughed.

"Well as soon as I'm out of here, we are going out. You can come too, Al." He nodded over at the older man, who knew he was only joking.

"Do either of you want any coffee?" he asked.

"Can't, I'm under strict orders not to eat or drink anything. Lucky me." Nick said and laughed again.

"Not for me, thanks." Lily added. She was so tired she felt like she could drink Starbucks out of business, but of course decided against it.

Doc Robbins left the room, and Nick and Lily sat looking at each other for a few minutes. Then both burst out laughing – something both did in awkward moments.

"I thought I wasn't going to see you again." Nick said, his voice quiet, his face deadly serious.

"I'm glad you're OK. Who else would I have to get me drunk?"

Both started laughing again. They carried on talking until the curly-haired doctor came back in. He had looked friendly enough out in the hall, but when he was seeing one of his patients being kept from resting, then he took on the attitude of an army general. Lily was shooed out, no matter how much Nick protested, and banished out into the corridor until Nick had slept for another three hours.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N Hey guys! I had a serious case of writers block this week, so if this seems a bit disjointed and stumbling and, well, quite frankly crap, then you know why! Enjoy! (Well, maybe not!) And take note of some of the little jokes and general obsevations I remember throwing in, but if you don't find them funny then there were no jokes, what are you talking about? Haha I'm gonna shut up now...AND this may be the last chapter I havent decided yet, let me know what you think. [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

"No. Absolutely not."

"Oh come on. Please?" Nick looked at her pleadingly. She felt like giving in, and it took all her strength to reply in her firmest 'what I say, goes' voice.

"No way, Nick. There is no way I'm going to drive you into work. You've been out of the hospital three days. No, don't ask me again OK?"

"I need to go in, Lily. They need me."

"Not as much as you're going to need a coffin if you keep stressing yourself out."

As soon as she said it, Lily regretted it. Silence hung in the air. He looked at her for what seemed like forever. Eventually after a heavy sigh, he replied.

"You're right. Of course you're right."

"So you'll stay here then?"

"Only if you stay with me, I'm so bored!"

"So I'm only here to entertain you?" she asked, wanting to laugh at the look on his face as he searched for an answer. Since he got out of hospital, she had been coming over every day to make sure he was OK. Making sure he was doing what the doctor told him. Making sure he wasn't going crazy after being abducted.

"No...Well, it's fun to freak you out. I think I'm gonna go for a jog now..."

"OK, stop that."

He laughed as she looked about ready to tie him to his chair. She knew he was only teasing her, but it was working. He loved how protective she was. She hated how protective she was being. It had taken all of her strength to stop him going to work the first day he was home, and ever since he had kept bugging her about it. 'Over my dead body' she felt like saying, but she felt it would be inappropriate under the circumstances.

"Well how about tomorrow?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"We'll see," she said with a sweet smile. There was no way that was going to happen. If she had her way, he'd never go back.

"God, this is like having a wife!"

He chuckled as he limped over to the sink to get a glass of water, still in pain and very tired. He paused and looked at her when she didn't laugh with him. 'Now you've done it' he thought. Jokes were not his strong point. She was still sitting on his ghastly sofa flipping through a magazine, although not actually reading it. She looked up as the phone rang. Nick started to reach for the receiver in the kitchen but Lily got to the one in the living room first.

"Hello?"

Nick was now standing next to her, and he wrenched the phone from her grip.

"Hey, dad. No, that was just Lily...yeah...No! Yes, I'm taking the medication...OK, love you too. Bye."

He hung up and turned to Lily. "My dad."

"Yeah, I heard."

"Just called to say they were back home now. They couldn't take any more time off."

She looked at her watch. "I should go."

"Oh. OK."

They said their goodbyes, and she left. She didn't want to but she knew he needed to rest. Nick went back to bed.

* * *

Walking down the halls of the lab, with all its glass and steel reflecting her on almost every surface, Lily was trying to hunt down Grissom. He had called the Coroner's Office earlier and asked her to bring some results over to her, but now he was no where to be seen. Passing a familiar face, she backtracked and stopped the woman, who had almost walked past without noticing her.

"Sara!"

"Oh, hi, sorry. In a world of my own!"

"I know what you mean," she laughed.

"What can I do for you?"

"Have you seen Grissom anywhere?"

"Oh...um...yeah, actually. He was in his office about five minutes ago, I was talking to him..."

"OK, thanks. See you later."

The two parted ways. Lily thought it odd that Sara had gotten so flustered, but dismissed it – she just couldn't figure that woman out sometimes. Turning round another corner in the maze that was the lab, she stopped dead.

"Nick!"

He stopped what he had been doing, which looked very much like work. Turning around, he began to speak, but she stopped him with a very cold look.

"I thought you were meant to be resting?" she asked, although it wasn't really a question. She had thought he understood how important it was for him not to rush back into work.

"We...um...I wasn't working! I swear!"

"You were I saw you!"

"No I was just holding this for Greg...Right, buddy?" He shot the younger man a very pleading look, which went completely unnoticed.

"I told him not to come in, Lily, I said we didn't need him. OW!"

"Ouch...Oh boy..." Nick had hit Greg right in the stomach, but had done himself much more damage. Now he was beginning to realise why he had been ordered to stay home, and why Lily was making such a fuss.

"I told you, didn't I? You OK?" He nodded. She was concerned, of course she was, she just wanted to hear those three little words, what every woman wants to hear from a man.

"You were right..." It pained Nick even more to admit it, but she was.

"Thank you. That's made my day."

After she made sure he was OK, Lily drove Nick home. She hoped he wouldn't keep begging to go back to work now.

* * *

Streamers and balloons filled the living room. On a central table, various half eaten bowls of snacks and nuts sat among glasses (both empty and full). Music blared from the stereo and the sound of laughter and chatter filled the air. The overall mood was happy and jovial, although the birthday girl was feeling somewhat dubious at the fact that in about 7 hours she was going to be 42.

"Happy birthday, Cath!" shouted a party late-comer, and she smiled back weakly. She was just glad that people hadn't bought balloons with her actual age written on them. She had told those she didn't know that well that she was only 38.

People were milling around the whole downstairs of Catherine's house, some standing in the kitchen helping themselves to more alcohol, others sitting in chairs or, in the case of both Nick and Lily, sitting on the only available space on the floor that wasn't already occupied by presents or the feet of those standing above them. They were chatting about how young Catherine looked, and how she could easily pass for someone in their thirties. Lily hoped she looked that good when she was that age. So there they both sat, him drinking beer, her drinking something that resembled orange juice but didn't quite taste the same, backs against the wall, legs crossed. Laughing as usual.

"Hey, Warrick," someone yelled, "Take my picture, man!"

The camera flashed. A merry-looking Greg broke from his pose. Grissom was in the kitchen making some kind of cocktail. Sara was discussing with Brass why she thought her present for Catherine would make her laugh. Just then, the lights went out and Lindsey came in with her mother's birthday cake, the whole room glowing from the light of the candles.

* * *

It was one week later, and half of the graveyard shift were gathered around the table in the break room, each with a mug of steaming coffee in their hands. Warrick had just got his pictures developed from the party. They came out of the packet and almost instantly the noise began.

"Ha ha, look at your hair in that one, Sara!"

"Shut up, it was windy out..."

"Dude, look at Greg...Man, you were so wasted! Woah...Look!"

In the background of the picture Warrick held in his hand was something that made everyone gasp and almost drop their hot beverages...

...Nick, planting a kiss on Lily's lips.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N My apologies, but I have reverted back to short chapters - I feel I have let you guys down a bit, but I'm ill and finding it very hard to get my ideas out! So here you go, it's really bad (ends really abruptly) but read it anyway, reviews are always welcome - and Merry Xmas! [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

The harsh sunlight began to creep through the gap in the curtains, where they hadn't been shut properly. They always jammed on the track. That's what you get for buying at a cheap home supplies shop.

Lily had watched the beam of light move gradually across the hardwood floor of the bedroom. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fall asleep. The more she tried, the more she kept herself awake, so she tried harder. Vicious circle. And after performing autopsies on 7 people after a whole family was murdered in their home, she was very tired.

A noise from the other side of the room startled her, and she dragged her eyes away from the soft yellow line at the side of her bed. The door eased open, inch by inch, and through the very small gap came her the furry face of her cat, Elvis. He must have come in the bathroom window – it was far to small for a person, but just the right size for Elvis, who, like his name-sake was somewhat overweight and more like the size of a small dog than a cat.

Jumping up, the pillow-like animal settled itself down next to Lily. She ran her hand over him, and felt her hand dampen. 'I just hope it's raining outside,' she thought, 'I still haven't forgotten the time you decided to use the toilet as a swimming pool.' Elvis began to purr, soothing Lily to sleep.

A few hours later, she was woken by the unmistakable sound of hissing and spitting. Then the shouting began.

"Damn cat! If you don't want me to roll over onto you, then don't lie on the bed!"

"He's not used to having to share me with anyone else. You're sleeping on his side of the bed." Lily smiled, as Elvis dug his claws into Nick's hand. She wasn't awake enough to try and intervene.

He yelled even louder, and tried to un-attach the claws. "This is why I'm a dog man!" He hadn't realised how possessive cats can be, and now he wished he had.

After five minutes, Elvis gave up the fight and left to sleep in the laundry basket. Lily looked at Nick, and bust out laughing when he held up his ravaged hand.

"Next time, we stay at my house," he said, although wasn't sure she could hear him. It wasn't that funny, it hurt having a cat stuck on your arm. But he could see the funny side – a guy like Nick yelling at a cat did seem slightly ridiculous.

Composing herself, Lily asked if they could go back to sleep. They did have to go to work in a few hours. Nick agreed and both lay back down, and drifted off with their arms round each other.

* * *

Lily had been in the morgue about ten minutes and had barely gotten her coat off when Catherine came in. She smiled a knowing smile when she saw her, and practically pushed her into the autopsy room to get started.

"What's the rush?"

"Oh no rush, I just want to get back to the lab. Nick is bringing back a Camero and I want to be their when it's time to take it apart." Catherine's eyed glittered slightly when she said Nick's name, but Lily dismissed it – she was probably imagining it. No one knew about the two of them yet and she wanted it to stay that way for a while. "Er...Have you seen Nick recently, just out of interest?"

'OK, she definitely knows something,' Lily thought, then replied, as if nothing was wrong, "No – not since yesterday, anyway, he came in to see Doc Robbins, but he'd already gone." Trying to keep her voice as calm as possible, but failing. Her horrified face probably gave her away, too.

The rest of the autopsy went on without any other mention of Nick, but when Catherine went to leave, she said, "I'll tell Nick you said hi!" and left after giving Lily another sickly-sweet smile. Sure, Catherine was normally cheerful, but this was just plain creepy. She had to know something.

Going back to the desk where the computer was, Lily sat down on the swivel chair and idly swung around 360 degrees. The she reached into her bag by her side, and pulled out her cell phone. Dialling Nick's number, she wondered what she would say, but before she had chance to think about it too much, his southern accent echoed in her ear.

"_Hey, Darlin'"_

"Hey, Nick." Her own southern accent mirrored his. "Um...I think some people might know."

"_Know?"_

"Yeah...About us."

Nick was quiet for a moment, and finally said, "_How'd that happen?"_

"I don't know, but Catherine was acting very weird."

"_Yeah, I just saw Warrick, I thought he was just having a laugh, but I guess he may know something too."_

"Well what should we do?"

"_Nothing."_

Nothing? Was that really an option? If they left it alone, it wasn't going to go away – it was a bit late for that.

"_Lil?"_

"Yeah..OK, we won't say anything yet. But we have to tell them soon."

"_I know. But let's just see what happens first. I gotta go, bye."_

"Bye." she said, but he had already hung up. 'See what happens?' What could that mean? She didn't have much time to ponder it, because at that moment Doc Robbins and Grissom walked in through the swinging metal doors, discussing the logistics of cockroach racing, and how it really was a sport.

"Lily, grab Mr Steinman, I got a new saw in the post! And bring a bucket!"

* * *

It felt like she was in High School again. Lily had only been going out with Nick for two weeks, and it was already the most complicated relationship she had ever had. They could tell people if they wanted to, but for some reason they were both too afraid to tell anyone. Well, Lily was afraid – maybe Nick was embarrassed?

On her way out of the Coroner's Office to go home, she convinced herself that the whole thing was doomed from the start and that she and Nick should just pretend nothing had happened between them, when she ran into the man himself.

"I was just coming to find you." he said

"Oh – what's up?"

"Well..." he needed to say it, but he was having trouble finding the words, "I think we should get everyone together and tell them...about us." he added the last part as an afterthought, as if she might not know what he was talking about.

Now Lily was even more confused. For someone who had graduated two years early, she was very slow when it came to figuring out what to say. He was still looking at her, waiting for an answer.

"OK."

"OK?"

"Not the answer you were hoping for?" She chuckled somewhat nervously.

"No, no it was! When will we tell them?"

Lily had a feeling that they all already knew


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Hey y'all!!! Hope 2007 is treating you well! This is just a quickie because I feel that I've been slightly neglectful recently. But I hope you enjoy it and, as ever, please R and R if you get the chance. Much love xx

"Pick your heels up, woman. We gotta do this some time."

Dragging Lily behind him, Nick strode purposefully towards the diner. They had agreed to meet the rest of the team there, but on the way Lily had decided she wasn't ready to tell anyone just yet. Only five minutes earlier, however, she had been saying how good it would be to get this huge secret off her chest. Nick just hoped she would change her mind again with the next thirty seconds.

"No I'm not ready, lets wait some more!"

"It's gonna be fine. Chances are they already know anyway."

Almost on cue as he tightened his grip on Lily's hand, Warrick looked up from his seat at the booth by the window and waved. Nick wasn't really sure whether he was supposed to wave back, but decided to raise his free hand in a kind of salute. Warrick chuckled and turned back to Greg, who had sat down again after getting another drink from the counter.

"If they already know, can't we just go in and act the way we would if they knew?" That seemed logical enough, although Lily wasn't sure whether she entirely believed it, let alone understood it. When she was nervous she had a tendency to over think things. What happened to the fearless woman she used to be? The rational woman who had a plan for life's every eventuality? Here she was, in the middle of a cold parking lot being dragged along by her boyfriend (Was he? She wasn't sure, they hadn't discussed that yet...) when she would have much rather just gone straight home after work and watched TV, maybe even ordered a pizza.

They climbed the three steps up to the entrance in unison, and she heard him take a deep breath at almost the same time as she did, before pushing the heavy doors open. The dull sound of chatter hit them hard after the comparative quiet and calm of outside, and they were greeted by a friendly looking waitress almost immediately.

"Hi, table for two?" said the woman with the name tag that read 'Jenni'. Her smile looked forced and it was obvious that she was tired and working hard to put food in front of her kids, although her eyes did seem to brighten when Nick smiled and replied.

"No thanks, we're with those guys." He pointed towards the rowdiest table at the far end of the diner. Jenni gave a sigh and turned her back on them.

As they made their way over to the bunch of familiar faces, Nick realised that he was still holding Lily's hand. 'Oh well,' he thought, 'At least this way I may not have to even speak for them to realise we are together.'

"Nick! Lily!" Catherine's voice sounded out above the general din, and she motioned them over. They both pulled up a chair and filled the only empty space at the end of the booth that wasn't blocked by the window. Jenni came back with two menus and gave them all a curt smile. She obviously wasn't used to such rowdy patrons on a Tuesday night, and couldn't wait to get home.

Nick cleared his throat. 'Oh no,' thought Lily, 'Here we go...'

But before he had time to say anything, Warrick interjected and said, "So, when were you going to tell your best friend you had a new girlfriend?" He pretended to look hurt, and burst out into peels of laughter at the sight of the two horrified faces staring back at him with open mouths. "We have all known for weeks, now." he continued. "You're not very subtle – either of you." he added as Lily began to laugh. All that worry was for nothing. They _did _already know.

The rest of the night went on without another major event (if you don't count the group shouting at Greg for messing up their orders), and Nick and Lily could finally relax, knowing that they wouldn't have to pretend any more.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N Hey all, just another short one, things are going to start getting a bit jucier so enjoy! As always R and R would be lovely! [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

Lily couldn't remember the last time she had felt this way. Even the first time, she had not felt this sick, but now, at what must be her thousandth autopsy, she actually thought she was going to throw up. She didn't know why, and was mentally working through a list of things she could have eaten in the last few days that would make her sick, when she was interrupted by the feeling of vomit rising in her throat, and almost didn't make it to the bin in time.

"You OK?" Doc Robbins' voice came from behind her, and he put his hand on her shoulder.

Wiping her mouth, Lily managed to say, "Fine," and left the room to get a drink of water. On the way out she almost ran into Greg and Sara, who gave a concerned look towards her back as she rushed past in a blur.

In the ladies room, Lily threw up again, then washed her mouth out. She sat down heavily on the side of the sink and began deep calming breathing. Worried was the word to describe how she was feeling right now. She couldn't remember the last time she had been sick, and it was quite unnerving how she had forgotten how the burning sensation felt. Like swallowing fire backwards. No bad food had been consumed, it was a routine autopsy of a woman who had drunk cleaning fluid, no blood or guts, so why was she throwing up? Deciding with a little uncertainty that she was getting a stomach flu, Lily returned to the autopsy room, hoping she wasn't going to throw up the rest of her lunch.

She was greeted by Greg's voice. "You don't look so good," he said, but knew he would live to regret it as soon as he said it, and Sara give him a very cold, very meaningful look.

"Thanks." Lily replied meekly. She felt like crap, and had just been told that she looked like it too. How wonderful. Would today get any worse?

"Exhausted..."

* * *

Lily flopped down on the sofa in her living room. She had never been so tired, and she had only worked a single shift. The only time she had felt close to this was when she worked in the emergency room, so she knew something must be wrong.

"Maybe we should have an early night then," Nick shouted from the kitchen. Lily couldn't see it, but she was sure he had raised an eyebrow in a seductive manner (or so he thought) as he said it. She could barely move, her joints ached, and what Nick was thinking was the last thing on her mind.

He walked in with hot chocolate and put it down on the side table next to where she lay, legs sprawled, shoes kicked off, jeans unbuttoned. Her stomach had started to feel swollen after she had thrown up, and right now she was thinking about putting on her pyjamas and going to bed. But she couldn't bear to get up, and was too tired to even try. Even thinking about reaching for her hot chocolate made her head spin and she felt like she was going to throw up again.

She managed to shake the feeling off, and before she knew it she had drifted of to sleep. The last thing she remembered was Nick covering her over with a blanket and kissing her on the forehead.

* * *

By the time she had woken up again, the sun was halfway across the living room floor. She was still on the sofa, under the blanket, but she should have woken up hours ago. It took her a moment to realise where she was, and realise why her alarm clock hadn't gone off.

"Eurgh...What time is it?" her voice was still thick with sleep and her throat felt like she had swallowed crushed glass.

Nick heard her from the bathroom where he was getting ready for work.

"About two thirty. How do you feel?"

The grunt she gave as a reply was adequate enough an answer for him, and he went back to brushing his teeth, only to be greeted seconds later by Lily's face at the door, and then trying to push past him to the toilet to throw up again.

When she was finished, she asked him, "Why didn't you wake me?"

"There is no way I'm letting you go to work when your throwing up every five minutes. I think Doc. Robbins would appreciate that, too."

She was defeated. But she didn't much feel like going in to work, anyway. She was still exhausted and her stomach was swollen. Trying now, she could hardly do her jeans up.

* * *

She decided to go into work after all. There had been a quadrupal homicide on The Strip, and the needed all the help they could get. After explaining all of her symptoms to Catherine, her diagnosis made her want to throw up again.

"Maybe you're pregnant." she said simply, without considering the effect it would have on Lily's mind. It had gone from just thinking about how crap she felt, to racing with the realisation that she actually could be pregnant.

"Oh God..." she groaned. Was this really something she wanted? Was this really something that Nick wanted?


	12. Chapter 12

A/N Hello my lovelies! How are we all doing? I've been meaning to update this for ages, but I haven't gotten around to it and my laptop has been looking at me from my desk and saying 'pleeeeease, write another chapter on me, you know you want to!' So yeah, here is is, keep reading, and for goodness sake leave me a review! If you are one of the first to read this be the first to read a review! I will be waiting as I have nothing better to do... [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

Lily opened the front door of her house, stepped in and dropped her car keys in the bowl on the side table. It was quiet – how she liked it when she came home after a long day – the only sound that could be heard was the low rumble of the dishwasher in the kitchen, and the faint sound of the radio coming from upstairs. Nick was home. In her home, which had more or less become his home recently.

She was glad – in meant she wouldn't have to wait another minute to tell him. If she had more time, she knew she would chicken out. Although as soon as Lily got upstairs, to where he was probably lying on her bed, last month's issue of 'Cosmo' or 'The National Enquirer' in his hands and a puzzled look on his face, the one that meant he had no clue what a Manolo was and was about to ask her, she would freeze. Her voice would cut out and her palms would sweat. Her stomach would churn, and she would throw up again.

Climbing the stairs, she tried to plan what to say. Tried to. Her mind went fuzzy and she struggled to breathe. She had to stop to regroup her thoughts, and when she had, she continued upwards – it seemed to take twice as long as it had the previous evening when she had rushed back up to retrieve her purse.

"Lil, that you?" she heard Nick's voice coming from the bedroom.

She put her head round the door, and when she saw him not reading her womens' magazines, but instead lying with his eyes shut and softly humming along to the song that was on the radio (a Britney Spears song if she wasn't mistaken, but her knowledge of popular music was vague.) she had to fight to suppress a laugh. She greeted him, then went to sit on the edge of the bed.

"How was your day?" he asked. She could tell from his voice that there was something on his mind.

"Oh...Not bad. Yours?"

He was quiet for a moment, then looked into her eyes. "How can anyone murder a child?"

"Oh. Nick..." This had totally ruined Lily's chances of telling him she thought she was pregnant. There was no way she could tell him he was about to become a father when his faith in mankind had been totally destroyed, although she felt the same way. Who wants to bring a child into the world when people do such horrible things to each other? She put her arms round him.

"Yeah, well I've seen so much of it, as much as I hate to say it, it rarely shocks me anymore. But you look like you've got something on your mind." He hugged her back. "Spill it."

"Um...I have to tell you something."

"I don't think I like the sound of that," he chuckled softly, "What's up?"

She just had to do it. Tell him, then deal with what he says. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that he wouldn't be happy about it, but she would never know until she told him.

"I think I'm pregnant." she blurted out. She had put her hands to her mouth with out realising as soon as she had said it, as if trying to stop the words coming out. But it was too late – they already had.

She felt Nick's body stiffen and his arms fall to his side. He wasn't sure if this was good news or not.

"What did you say?" he asked, even though he knew. He needed her to say it again, just so it could sink into his brain. Right now it was floating on the surface.

"You heard me." she said into her hands, still clapped to her face. She was slightly resentful that he wanted her to say it again, when it had pained her so much to say it the first time.

* * *

They were still sitting on Lily's bed in stunned silence when the phone rang. Neither moved to answer it, so the machine picked it up. No one left a message, so after the beep both were submerged back into the depths of silence once again. Nick put his hand on her back.

"You said you 'think'. You haven't done a test yet?"

"No...I'm scared." she felt like laughing at her confession. What did she really have to be afraid of, anyway. In her heart she knew she was pregnant. She was late, she was throwing up – all the signs were there.

"Well lets do it now. Come on." he said, pulling her up and reaching over to switch of the radio. He was being surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Much more than she was.

When Catherine had first put the idea in her head, Lily had had to remind herself to breathe. They had always been careful, but accidents happen, and she felt slightly foolish. She never thought she would have children, mainly because her parents had done such a crappy job at raising her, and she felt she would be doomed to repeat their mistakes. Or that she would pass on the hellish frizzy hair gene. She felt so scared, because from now on she would be responsible for ruining someone else's life, and not just her own. She had never been one to think solely of herself, but having so much power placed on her when she really wasn't ready for it was more than she could handle. She found herself, then and now recalling how she had felt, feeling very sick and a wave of panic rushed over her. But Nick was sitting there with a smile on his face, like he was _happy _about the whole thing. Shouldn't she be happy too? She felt a stab of guilt, and was suddenly very ashamed of herself. Her older sister Mara had tried for years to get pregnant, and here she was, pregnant without even trying. But she had always been good at everything she tried her hand at.

* * *

The rack where the pregnancy tests were kept was right by the counter. Lily felt very exposed under the watchful eye of the pharmacist while she tried to decide which one to buy – there were so many to choose from. Surely if they all did the same job there was only need for one brand? Thinking about this was the perfect way to distract herself from the task at hand, and only when she was poked in the ribs by Nick did she realise that she had been standing in the same place for three minutes with a vacant look on her face.

"What?" she asked him, her voice tinged with worry, "I can't get the cheapest one because that's more likely to provide a false positive, but I am totally against buying the most expensive one. Think of what we could buy with that money!"

"Well, we could either buy ridiculously over-priced baby clothes or you could get some ridiculously high shoes, if you're not pregnant. But we won't know until you buy one, so make up your mind."

She sighed, and went to grab a test in the middle price range, her hand hovering over a box with a picture of a baby with freaky blue eyes, before taking one with pink stripe on it.

"Great," he said, "but if you find it so hard to choose a pregnancy test – the easiest part – what are you gonna be like when it comes to choosing a name?"

"Nick, you're getting a little ahead of yourself aren't you? We don't even know if I am pregnant yet!" She knew he was right, just like she knew deep down that she _was_ pregnant, but she still didn't feel like she was ready for all this. How could Nick be so calm about the whole thing? As far as Lily knew, he had never really wanted children – it was something that he wanted in the future, but the future was getting increasingly closer to the present. And, as much as a cliché as it sounded, she could hear her biological clock was ticking, and it had been getting increasingly louder as her relationship with him had progressed. From the first moment she had seen him, she wanted to be with him, one day marry him...

But this was all happening too fast.

* * *

Nick paid for the pregnancy test, and they went back out to the car. She wanted nothing more than to go home and just get away from him for a while, so she could sleep and just be herself. But she knew that he would want to be there when she peed on the stick – not necessarily in the bathroom with her, but in the same building.

They both got in the car, and before Lily knew it they were back at her house. She had secretly hoped they would hit traffic so she could delay the inevitable for at least a few minutes, but that hadn't happened. He was looking at her expectantly as he reached to take the keys from the ignition, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze – she just wanted to curl up into a ball and hide. She looked down at the white paper bag containing the test, and realised she had been squeezing it in her hands, so it now just looked like an old piece of trash. This old piece of trash was about to tell her her future.

She jumped out of the car, with Nick following, and fumbled in her pocket for her keys. Visibly panicked as she couldn't find them, she heard Nick clear his throat from behind her.

"Looking for these," he asked her with a smile, "you left them in the bowl so I picked them up before we left."

Her heart sank once more – how would she cope with a child if she couldn't even remember her keys when she left the house? She even felt a little bit angry with him for being so perfect and never messing things up. Right now she wanted to push him away, to lock the door on him and never venture out of her bedroom again. She hated that he had practically moved in with her and they hadn't even discussed it, that she rarely saw her friends anymore and that all of her time was spent with him. She was losing her independence and was going to lose it even more now she was pregnant.

So once the door was open, she ran up the stairs to the bathroom. Nick followed, but she had shut and locked the bathroom door before he could go in with her. She felt a bit better knowing he couldn't come in there, knowing she was finally alone. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of his wash bag on the side of the basin, and she picked it up and threw all of his shaving cream and shampoo and other bits and pieces back into it where they belonged. She didn't want to look at it anymore.

Lily sat down on the edge of the bath, and turned the box containing the test in her hands. Nick sat outside the door, his back against the hard wall. He knew she needed space right now, so he got up and went to sit downstairs.

* * *

Five minutes had passed since Lily had worked up the courage to do the pregnancy test, but she couldn't find enough courage to look at it from where it sat on the bathroom counter. If you left them long enough, did the result change? This prompted her to get up and look.

She wasn't sure why she was afraid, since she already knew it was true, but she assumed this was what it felt like to be put on death row. You knew the end was near, but on the day of your execution you still feel afraid. She laughed a little at the thought of comparing her baby to being on death row, even though it wasn't funny, just a little bit wrong. Nick heard her from downstairs, and came and stood outside the door.

"Lily? What are you doing?"

He heard the bolt sliding across, and the door opened. "Can you tell me what it says?"she asked him. He walked the short way from the door to the counter (her bathroom not being very big) and picked the test up gingerly – he had never had to do this at work, and if he had he would have been wearing gloves.

He looked at her, and said, "I'm guessing a plus sign means it's positive..."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N Hello my lovelies! Here is it, chapter 13, unlucky for some, hopefully not in this case (not sure how a chapter can be unlucky but whatever...) I was proof-reading this earlier and I got to the part about Greggo and nearly wet myself laughing! I had forgotten about it, even though it's not that funny really it just tickled me! But anyway this will be the end for a while, I am now officially on hiatus while I do exams, so you will be waiting until late June until another chapter will be written (which takes about a week or so because I get distracted easily) So until then, farewell and enjoy! [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

"We're having a baby?"

"That's what the test says! Isn't this exciting?" He didn't really need to ask Lily what she thought about it, the look on her face said it all. But when she looked up at him and saw how happy he was, her heart melted. She had never seen him like this before – his eyes were lit up, his grin was so wide you could park a truck in it, and he was looking at her with a mixture of adoration and amazement. Tears started to fall from her eyes and down her cheeks.

"Those are tears of joy, right?" Nick asked as he pulled her into a hug. He was half joking, but he couldn't be sure whether she was happy or not. The way she had acted earlier was not the way an expectant mother acts, no matter how hormonal she is. It was like she didn't even want a baby, and especially not with him.

"I'm happy...We're having a baby." She had to say it a few more times in her head to make sure it was real. She was even going to go so far as to pinch herself, but her arms were pinned under his, so all she could really do was pinch him on the hip. But she was still panicking. She saw him as the type of guy who would usually be with a girl for a while, then take her home to meet his folks, then get married and _then _start a family – the traditional type. She had only met his parents once, and then was when she and Nick were still just friends and their son was lying in a hole in the ground. Their baby was conceived out of wedlock. But she knew he would do his best to take care of her and the baby, and sometimes he was just like a big kid himself, so he'd make a great dad. Lily was still worried about her skills as a mother, though – she had nearly killed Greg's hamsters after he asked her to look after them for the weekend – but she had looked after her sister's children a few times, and they didn't go back home covered in bruises, so she must have done something right. She just wished there was a book that told her everything she had to do to be perfect – she was one of those naïve people who put all of their faith in books, and believed everything that was published was true ('Surely if it isn't right, they wouldn't be allowed to print it?') so if she saw a book telling her to let her baby sleep in a pot on the stove, she would probably do it.

She began to wonder if Nick might want to be a stay-at-home dad...

* * *

About four hours had passed since Nick and Lily had found out about their impending parenthood. Both had been emotionally drained and understandably felt the need to sleep before work started again in a few hours – as soon as Nick's head had hit the pillow, he was gone, but Lily was finding it harder to drift off. Every time she got close, something made her think about the baby and she was back where she started, wide awake and panicked. She had only managed to half-convince herself that a baby was a good thing, but the other half of her still wasn't sure, and that was the half that, evidently, wasn't very tired. Normally when she couldn't sleep, she would take some sleeping pills, but surely that wasn't good for the baby – neither was drinking yourself to sleep either, which was another of her methods for getting all the re-energising she needed, as well as a nice hangover to go with it.

Lily's hand moved subconsciously to her stomach, which to her didn't feel much different. But she couldn't do up her jeans, so she had to have gotten a bit bigger. She tried to think about when she might have fallen pregnant, but there had been plenty of opportunities for it to happen, and right now in her sleep-fogged mind she wasn't in the mood for working it out. She would leave that to her doctor when she made an appointment, although when she would get the time for that she wasn't quite sure. If she ever got a minute alone while she was a work, because she barely had time to sneeze when she was getting ready, she would do it then, but she had to be careful no one heard her. She could barely cope with telling Nick when it came to it, so how would she be when she had to tell everyone else? They would have to cross that bridge when they came to it.

She heard Nick shifting beside her, and rolled over to look at him. He was lying on his side with his eyes closed, but Lily knew he wasn't sleeping – the grin on his face gave it away. These days his dreams were mostly nightmares of being buried underground. This had been going on for five months now, and although they were getting less frequent, he still woke up at least twice a week in a cold sweat.

"Are you asleep?" she asked him.

"Yes..."

She laughed and he opened his eyes. "Make the most of it, I hear those sleepless nights are a bitch."

"That won't be a problem, we work nights."

Lily hadn't thought about that. Would that mean she had to give up work? They couldn't afford a nanny, so that would mean she had to either quit or work the day shift. She didn't like the day shift people, she was happy where she was. Maybe quitting would be the best option, although she didn't like the idea that the baby would be running her life. She had had friends from university who quit their jobs when they had a baby and they never saw their friends, only left the house to go shopping for food or take the baby to one of those activity group things, and never changed out of their sweat pants. That was not the kind of woman she wanted to become. His voice broke into her thoughts.

"What are you thinking?"

"Oh nothing, just practical things."

"Such as?"

"I think I'm going to quit my job. What do you think?"

"Quit? You mean when the baby's born?" She nodded. "Can't you just switch to day shift?"

"Are you kidding? Those people are way too cheerful, it must be all that sunlight they get. And I'll never get to see you, I'll be leaving as you're coming home."

She had seen it happen with her parents – her mother worked the night shift at the hospital where she was a paediatric nurse, and her father worked during the day as a biology teacher. They weren't particularly close, and had almost got divorced on more than more one occasion (although that never really bothered Lily) but they managed to keep it together for the kids. She didn't want that to happen to her and Nick.

"Can we afford for you to quit. I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure babies cost a fair amount of money."

"They do. I have some money saved up, but I'm still paying off my student loans – who knew medical school cost so much?"

"So you can't afford to quit. We can't afford to pay for help, but we also can't afford for you to quit, so I guess we're kinda stuck. What if I switch to day shift?"

"You'd do that? Even though I wouldn't let you, because there's still the issue of never seeing you. And you'd get the honour of waking up to feed the baby in the middle of the night – that doesn't seem fair."

"Better idea?"

"No...Maybe I should get a second job."

"Or I could do more overtime..."

"So I _still_ would never see you..."

"Well I guess we'll just have to get used to it. When he or she is a bit older maybe things will have changed – I could get promoted, or fired."

"Don't even joke, for goodness sake that's the last thing we need!" Lily was starting to get stressed now. This baby was going to be a bigger responsibility that she could have ever imagined, and the was so much that needed sorting out. She had even thought about making out a will, in case she died in childbirth (something that scared the pants off her). She thought the work aspect would be the easy part. Maybe day shift wouldn't be _so _bad...

* * *

"You're what?"

"Pregnant. And not sure what to do. Please help me!"

This was not the way Doc Robbins expected his day to start. As soon as he came in to the Coroner's Office, Lily was already there, and before he could even say good morning, she had told him she was pregnant. He immediately thought of his daughter, Susan, who was twenty, and imagined her coming home from college for Thanksgiving and as the whole family was gathered around the table, the smell of the turkey making their mouths water, and blurting it out. He imagined his wife's face, the colour draining out. His disappointment which she would misinterpret as anger. Then their would be a fight, and nothing would get resolved the way it should, with his daughter knowing her father was there and he was going to do everything he could to make sure it all worked out. But this was Lily asking for advice. The exasperation in her voice was clear, and his normally level-headed assistant was clearly having a meltdown.

She and Nick had decided they wouldn't talk about it any more until they woke up, but as he drifted off to sleep, she still lay awake, her mind whirring. She was the kind of woman who liked to have a game plan. She liked to know how things would end before they had even started. She liked to have a measured amount of control over her life, which she didn't think was too much to ask for. She hadn't actually planned to tell the Doc yet, but before she could stop herself she had, and the words still hung in the air between them – she could practically see them in a speech bubble, like in a cartoon.

"Well," he began, not really sure of the words to use that would help her, "Does Nick know?"

"Yes. That's not the part I'm having problems with. It's work."

"I see – are you thinking of leaving?"

"I was, but we can't afford it. Do you think Martin from day shift will switch with me?"

He let out a soft laugh. "Honestly, I don't. His head is firmly planted up Ecklie's ass, anyway. You don't want him on your case all day."

"The first time I met him, I wanted to kill him. He just has a way of getting to people, doesn't he?"

This time they both laughed. Then he said, a little hesitant, "Perhaps your future isn't here, Lily."

"What do you mean?"

"I get the Coroner's newsletter emailed to me. There's a vacancy at the morgue in Carson City. "

"You think I should move? Will that really solve anything?"

"It's day shift...What you wanted."

It would work – she and Nick could still see each other and the baby, and be able to afford everything they needed. But could they really leave Las Vegas?


	14. Chapter 14

A/N Hey all! Wow it's been a while! I've had this third of a chapter on my laptop for months, I did plan on it being longer but I just thought I should put up what I've done so far. If this fic was a baby child services would be banging down my door right now. I am so neglectful. So yeah, it's short and just fluff basically but I feel better for having uploaded it. Enjoy!

"Damn it!" Lily shouted in exasperation. She couldn't do up the zip on her skirt – she was definitely starting to get a bigger belly – even though Nick would always tell her she looked the same.

"What now?" the man himself put his head around the door, to the bedroom they now officially shared. He had sold his house, and moved his stuff in, which freed up a little extra cash. Enough for her to be able to give up work for a year or so to look after the baby. One less thing for her to worry about.

"You...you did this to me!" She lifted her shirt and stuck out her stomach. Only fifteen weeks – not even four months, yet – but she could no longer squeeze herself into her clothes. She had worked so hard to get a flat stomach, so looking at her little bump made her a bit upset. And it's not like she had taken the 'eating for two' concept literally, like many women did – her only craving thus far had been for mashed potatoes, and she had eaten so much of it that she was getting bored. She was beginning to move onto cold boiled rice now, which could hardly be classed as fattening. So how had she suddenly become so big? Maybe she was going to be one of those women she always read about in trashy magazines at the hair salon, who gave birth to twelve-pound babies. If that happened, she would never let him near her again and she might have to kill him. She figured that she had worked in the Coroner's Office for long enough to know how to do it without making it look like murder...

"It takes two to tango, Darlin', and if I remember rightly, you didn't seem to be complaining at the time..." He winked at her and went back into the bathroom to finish getting ready for work.

"Shut up. I hate you."

"Love you, too!"

She rolled her eyes, and went back to her wardrobe to look for a longer shirt, one that would cover the large gap where her underwear was showing through, and the zip had jammed and wouldn't go up any further. It took so much effort to get it on, that she didn't think she would have the energy to get it off again. She was starting to wonder why woman actually wanted to get pregnant. And when she would get the time to go shopping for maternity clothes – which were heinously expensive and would only be worn for a few months before being banished back into the wardrobe, where she was currently attempting to entangle a blouse from its hanger. Because there was no way she was going to go through all this again. Even though she knew Nick wanted a big family. But then he wouldn't really get a say in it, as he wasn't the one having to go through pregnancy.

"Are you nearly ready?" Nick yelled, his voice slightly muffled by the fact that his mouth was full of toothpaste, "We go through this every morning, and every morning I'm late. If I lose my job we're screwed." He spat in the sink, as if to make his point heard more clearly.

"I know, I know. Just putting on my shoes. But soon I won't be able to reach my toes, so you may have to help me, then."

He came into the room, pulled her up off the bed, and started to guide her down the hall towards the stairs. Lily stopped to pick up her bag, but got side-tracked trying to find her day planner at the bottom of it.

"You're so slow. But I wouldn't change you." He said, grabbing her hand, and pulling her down the stairs behind him.

"Aww...You're so mushy! But I wouldn't change you, either."

When they reached the front door, he stopped her and kissed her.

"We haven't got time for this, Nick!" She laughed and poked him on the shoulder.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N Hey everyone! I am starting to get back into this story again, after leaving it for so long. This is just another short chapter, but there's some drama at the end. Remember to leave me a review please! Thanks a billion!

For the first time since she had moved to Las Vegas, Lily actually felt like she was at home there.

She had been putting off telling her family about the baby for weeks, mostly because she didn't really believe it herself, but when she finally told them in her weekly phone call back to the house that she grew up in, where her parents still lived after about forty years, they sounded really excited. They had yet to meet Nick, and were a little worried that she hadn't told them much about him. But the next Sunday when she called, they dropped the bombshell that they would be coming to Vegas for the weekend. Her sister Marci's husband had worked for American Airlines for twenty years before taking early retirement last spring, so they and the rest of the family could enjoy the unlimited free flights to anywhere in the world – something they were only now choosing to take advantage of, after she had been living so far away from Kentucky for about a year. That was the one thing that really annoyed her about her family. Of course, if the shoe was on the other foot and it was Marci who was so far away, no doubt her parents would be flying out all the time.

But now here she was, sitting in her and Nick's backyard, her whole family around her. So far everything that evening had gone smoothly – _so far_. She knew that it was just a matter of time before something went wrong. Someone would say the wrong thing and the nice time they were having together would dissolve into a pile of hostility and dirty looks would be fired across the patio table. That was how every family gathering since before she could remember had ended.

"So..." her brother Grant began tentatively, only too aware of their family's ability to ruin every special occasion, "How's work going Lil?"

"Oh you know, hectic as always."

"I hope they're going easy on you, now that you're pregnant," her mother said.

"Yeah, they are being really great about the whole thing."

Lily's parents had always disapproved of her what she did for a living, and felt that her career choice was a little too _different _for their liking. They often referred to her colleagues as 'those people', although what they were really thinking was 'those weird morbid people'. Whenever anyone asked what their second oldest daughter did for a living (as Marci was a home-maker) they always told them that she was a doctor, which wasn't strictly untrue, and then changed the subject. Now her being pregnant but not being married had really given them something the disapprove of.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

She didn't know why she had been so hesitant to have a baby – being pregnant was great! She was past the throwing up constantly stage, and wasn't quite at the back ache stage, so she was just enjoying the glowing and not having to stand up on the bus. And when she wanted Nick to do something for her, all she had to do was sigh and pretend that it was a struggle for her to get off of the sofa, and he would jump up and offer to do whatever it was she had been trying to do.

Now was a good example of that: everyone had finished eating, and Lily started to get up to clear away everyone's plates but he (and even her mother, which shocked her a bit) patted her on the shoulder and told her not to worry about it. She had started to feel quite bad about taking advantage of him like that, so she insisted she would help this time by getting dessert out of the kitchen.

Just as she was shutting the refrigerator door, her father appeared beside her. She just knew he was about to spoil their nice day by giving her a lecture about how foolish she had been to get pregnant, and how Nick would leave her the second it all got too much for him.

"Lily, I hope you realise what you're getting yourself into. A baby is a big responsibility and..."

"Dad," she cut him off, her voice calm, even thought she was feeling the rage starting to build up inside her. "I'm not a little girl any more."

"I know that."

"I'm more than capable of looking after a baby. And Nick loves me, he won't leave." She started to feel a knot forming in the pit of her stomach – even though she had read every pregnancy book that had been printed in the last ten years, she was still worried about how she would cope when the baby arrived. And, more worrying still, she didn't quite believe herself when she said Nick wouldn't leave.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nick went out of the back door to put a bag in the trash can, that they kept in the garden when it wasn't out on the kerb waiting for it's contents to be taken. It had gotten colder since they had been out there eating without the warmth that came from the barbecue, and the light was gradually fading. He heard a noise coming from the space in between the house and the neighbour's fence and went to see what it was.

"Jade?" he asked into the darkness, half expecting to see a raccoon. He could spell the smoke coming from her cigarette even though he was still a few feet away.

"Sorry. I know Lily wouldn't want me doing this inside, especially not now she's...well, you know." She spoke in an accent that was almost completely identical to Lily's, her sentences punctuated by her taking a drag from the cigarette held between her index and middle fingers. "So. You're not a lot like the other guys she's dated. I was surprised when I met you. I imagined someone...different."

"Different?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna be honest with you for a second here, Nick. I think you're a little out of her league. You can do a lot better."

"Oh. Um... I really don't think that's true..."

"Oh come on," she said, leaning a little closer and putting her free hand on his arm, "you know I'm right."

"I think you've knocked back a few too many glasses of wine, Jade. Lets go back inside, OK?"

He tried to gently drag her towards the back door, but in one swift movement she had gone from leaning against his shoulder, to having both arms around his neck and her legs tangled in his, kicking the trash can as she fell.

"Oops - sorry!"

She looked up at him with blurry eyes, and moved in to kiss him.

"Hey hey hey! What are you doing?" he said in surprise, trying to straighten her up again. Sometimes at work he had women hitting on him, usually more attracted to his profession than his looks. But he had never had to fend of unwanted female advances in his own home before. He pulled away quickly and stood up, dragging her with him. And then he saw Lily...


	16. Chapter 16

A/N Happy new year! OK, so this chapter isn't exactly what I wanted it to be, it's kind of short for my liking and I didn't really resolve anything, but just think of it as a transitional chapter. I have sort of lost my FanFiction mojo. I also may have messed this up a bit by not planning it out before writing it. Oh well, review if you feel like it, more soon! [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

"What a whore!" Lily yelled as she stormed back into the kitchen. She should have stayed out there and put to use all the kick-boxing lessons she had paid through the nose for, but instead she took the cowards way out and walked away – something she had never been known to do. When it came to it, her fight response always called to her a little louder than flight. _'When a red-neck sees red, you're gonna be seeing a lot of it, too'_ had always been one of her brother's favourite sayings as a teenager. Never had it felt so damn true...

"Lily! Not in front of the baby!"

That made her stop in her tracks, just as she was about to slam the back door in Nick's face, and shoot him a glare. Worryingly, she didn't think he was kidding when he said stuff like that.

"Nick just... just leave me alone for a while, OK? Go take a walk or something."

"But we need to talk about this." He moved to put his arm around her, but seeing her recoil away from him made him feel like he'd just been sucker punched in the stomach. He'd made her mad before (quite a few times, actually) but never like this. And what just happened wasn't even his fault – and besides, nothing really had happened! Her sister was just drunk, how could he be held responsible for her actions?

"Later," she said quietly with a hint of exasperation, heading down the hallway towards the stairs. "Make sure you're not here when I come back down."

* * *

When she was sure he was gone, Lily went to the living room where her parents were sitting, curious as to why she hadn't come back after checking what had made the noise outside. They were, however, certain that they didn't like the idea of going into the kitchen where all of the yelling was coming from. After calling a cab for them and her siblings to take them back to their hotel, she went back upstairs and lay down on the bed – she hadn't seen Jade leave, and for all Lily knew she was still outside, but she didn't really care, she never wanted to see her again. That bitch had ruined everything, just like when they were kids.

While she was waiting for them to leave, all she had wanted to do was cry and maybe get drunk, and now that she was alone like she had wanted, a mixture of disbelief and anger stopped her from letting it all out. Now she just lay there, unsure of what to make of the evening.

To start with, she was mad at her parents for springing a surprise visit on her. Then she wanted to strangle her dad for him thinking that Nick would leave her when things got too hard to handle. And now she was mad that he may have been right. Then the thought hit her, a thought so terrible she thought she might die if it actually came true – what if he didn't come back? Part of her didn't want him to and never wanted to see his face again, but at the same time she felt terrified that he and Jade were going to get together. And then what would she do? She had really hoped that she was mistaken in what she saw, but it was just too awful for her to have made up. Should she call him, beg him to come back so they could work things out? Or should she let him wait for her to cool off, and then he would come home and beg her to forgive him? She didn't really care which way things went right now, she just didn't want things to end with him.

* * *

Nick sat back on the sofa in the break room, completely exhausted after pulling yet another double, and let his eyes close. The TV was on, but the noise wasn't distracting, just strangely comforting – sometimes he just couldn't take silence for long periods of time, so the newscaster's voice made him feel relaxed and at ease. He hadn't spoken to Lily for two days, in the hope of giving her time to cool down so they could talk things over. He sort of expected to get a call from her at any minute, because he knew how much she hated being mad with people, but something told him that she wasn't going to forgive him so easily. He reached into his pocket for his cell phone, and just as he was about to dial her number, his 'Dukes of Hazzard' ring tone blared out at him. The display said the call was coming from the coroner's office.

"Lily?"

"Guess again." Doc Robbins answered, "You were close though. But her hair is definitely a lot nicer than mine..."

"Yeah, OK. What's up, Doc?"

"Well I was just wondering if you'd seen that illusive girlfriend of yours recently? She didn't show up for work this afternoon."

"Sorry, I haven't seen her since Saturday."

"Oh dear – have you two had a falling out?"

"Sort of. Have you tried calling her at home?"

"That was the first thing I did."

"OK, well if I hear from her I'll get her to give you a ring."

He hung up. It wasn't like Lily to not show up for work, and if she wasn't feeling up to it then she would have at least called in to tell someone. Now he was worried.

Nick picked himself up off of the sofa – he was going to have to go and look for her if she wasn't picking up the phone.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N Howdy! OK, so this chapter is short, but it's only because...well I've sort of fizzled out on this one. I'll keep going until the end (which will be soon yay!) but I'm running out of ideas. Um...Read and review please and thank you. Oh and sorry for the bad mushy ending, I'm just in that kind of mood today! [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd 2010 due to page break errors]

"Damn it, Lily, why can't you pick up your phone?" Nick said to himself as he called her for the seventh time that night. He was in his car driving back to their house to see if she was home and just ignoring his calls, or whether something had happened to her. The light was growing dimmer and a chill lingered in the air, but all he felt was a knot forming in his stomach.

Pulling into the driveway, he noticed that none of the lights were on but her car was still parked out front. Maybe she was just out talking a walk, or maybe she was in the garden and couldn't hear the phone. He peered over the fence at the side of the house, but couldn't see her.

"Nick! Nick!" he heard, coming from somewhere behind him. Turning, he saw Jill, the kind women who lived next door, jogging over to him from the other side of the street. Lines of worry etched her normally carefree face, newly tanned from her recent trip to Mexico, and her pale pink pant suit looked dishevelled and creased. "Thank heavens you're home."

"What's going on?"

"Lily's in the hospital. I would have called you, but I didn't have your number."

"Is she OK? What happened?"

* * *

"Lily, what happened?" Nick said breathlessly, rushing to the side of the bed where she was laying. She was attached to a drip and a machine that echoed two steady beeps into the room. Her pale skin almost matched the colour of the standard grey-white hospital linens. Even her hair looked dull, the complete opposite of how it normally was. He felt so helpless standing there looking at her, wishing he could do or say something to make everything right. _'This must have been how she felt'_, he thought, remembering back to the kidnapping and his own hospital stay.

"I don't know. I felt really faint and my vision was blurred and then the next thing I know I'm in the back of an ambulance."

"Who called the ambulance?"

"Jill, she came over to show me her vacation photos." she replied meekly. Nick reached out and gently took her hand, careful not to knock the IV line. She looked so scared, and that scared him. She was one of the bravest people he knew (and he worked with Catherine, the ex-stripper).

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there, Lil. I'm sorry we fought. I'm sorry I didn't try and explain what happened. I'm..."

"Stop, Nick. I over-reacted. I _really _over-reacted. It's wasn't me that was a bitch, it was the hormones."

"Forget it, honey." He swept a stray strand of hair from her eye, his hand lingering on her cheek.

The doctor (Doctor Hawke, don't you forget it, although neither could remember a formal introduction ever having being made) came in, interrupting their 'moment'. He was a tall, slender, somewhat robotic-looking man, and they soon found out that he spoke that way, too. "Lily has pre-eclampsia – high blood pressure, blurred vision and headaches are the usual symptoms. You should stop working now and take bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy. We caught it early, so we shouldn't have to induce labour."

"Is the baby going to be OK? What's going to happen to the baby?" She was really trying hard to choke back the tears, but a few broke loose and spilled down her cheek.

"We're going to give you an ultrasound in a little bit, just as soon as the room is free. But your baby should be fine, as long as you take it easy. I mean it – you don't need any extra strain on your body. I'll be back in a few minutes to make sure." _'Hawke by name, Hawke by nature'_ Lily thought grimly, knowing she would never get away from his watchful eye the whole time she was there. He gave what the two could only assume was his sympathetic look and, with no frills or even a hint of bedside manner, left in the same manner that he came.

* * *

Nick wheeled Lily out of the ultrasound room, trying not to ram her feet into the door. Manoeuvring wheelchairs had never really been his strong point (there had been one especially memorable time when he thought a DUI suspect was going to sue the department after he nearly shut the poor guy's leg in the elevator door). Neither of them had spoken as they were going in, waves of uncertainty surrounding them, but know they were both grinning. Now that they knew that everything was OK.

"Hey, Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N Be prepared for fluff! Alright, so I know it's been like three months since I last updated this, but I don't really get the urge to write anymore and when I do it's not for this sort of thing. To be honest I can't wait to be done with this one - it was one of the first things I wrote and I can remember getting the first three chapters down on paper while I was babysitting about two years ago which is a really long time. So expect the end of this story very soon. Well, once I've written it, which, as you know, could take a while. Thanks for reading! [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd due to page break errors]

"I don't care what anyone says, bed rest isn't all that bad."

"You won't be so cheerful when you've got bedsores on your ass."

"You're just jealous," Lily said, playfully throwing a pillow at Nick, who was getting ready to leave the hospital for work. He had stopped by to visit her on his way to the crime lab that morning, and he had bought pancakes in a polystyrene box from their local diner – hospital food wasn't exactly a taste sensation, and Lily was learning that all too well. She had been eyeing them all the while he was there, but was planning on waiting for him to leave before she devoured them. The baby loved pancakes.

"Don't get too bored today, alright?"

"I'll try. I've still got a stack of magazines, they should probably last me through the morning."

"Maybe you should start a new hobby."

"Like knitting?"

"Sure, why not? Right, I gotta get out of here. See you later." he said, leaning down to kiss her.

"Bye."

* * *

Lily sighed and smiled as she felt a hand on her stomach. It was now eight o'clock in the evening, and Nick had stopped by after his shift; the two of them were curled up together (although 'squashed' was probably more of an appropriate word) on Lily's bed, watching a 'Behind the Music' special on the TV.

"Would you still love me if I had a mullet like Billy Ray Cyrus?"

"Don't count on it."

"Hey!" he said, poking her in the arm. "I think mullets are seriously underrated. It's like two hair styles in one – what could be better?"

"Being bald?"

"What have you got against them? Didn't your brother have one when you were kids?"

"I don't have anything against the style, even if it is as ugly as sin, I just don't like Billy Ray Cyrus. He exploits his Country roots. He's not an accurate representation of men from Kentucky. And he thinks he's Elvis."

"Believe it or not, I admired his style. The jeans, the high-tops... The hair."

"You didn't have a mullet, did you?"

"I sure did! But it's not like I was the only one, everyone had one."

"I just lost a whole lot of respect for you." She was barely able to keep a straight face, imagining him with such an atrocious hair 'do. "But you do dance a little better than he does. Only a little, though."

"You're so nice to me, Lil."

"It's the hormones. I love you really."

The two of them went back to watching the television, but it wasn't long before Nick continued, "What do you think we should name the baby"

"Billy Ray? Nicholas Junior?" she replied, returning her attention to the ageing rock star on the screen in front of her.

"I'm serious!"

"So am I! But only because I have a feeling the baby is a girl."

"How do you know?"

"I don't _know_, it's just a feeling."

"Well what girl names do you like then?"

Lily thought about it for a moment. Nothing particularly modern or popular, in case their daughter got switched with one of the ten other Madisons or Chloes in the maternity ward. Nothing old fashioned, either. To tell the truth, she had never really thought this far ahead before – she had been taking it all one day at a time so she didn't have a complete mental breakdown – and any time anyone so much as mentioned the actual birth part she would have to change the subject. Thus far, she hadn't really acknowledged the fact that after she was done being pregnant, she would have a baby. This was the first she and Nick had really talked about names. "I don't know, what do you like?"

"Nice names. Like Mary or Beth or Ella. Don't look at me like that," he added, seeing her grimace at his choices.

"Don't you want something a little more... original? How about Phoebe or Amelia?"

"Or Calpernia or Guadeloupe?"

"No."

"How about we just pick names out of a hat? It would be easier."

"If you're going to be like that, then I'll pick the name myself."

"We're kind of working against the clock on this one. Not long now!" He patted her stomach, letting his mind wander for a moment. Birthdays, graduation, wedding, grandchildren – he couldn't wait for all of those things. He had grown up with a lot of siblings, so children of his own was something that he had always wanted. But as excited as he was, he couldn't help but feel like Lily didn't quite share that feeling.

She was excited, even though she tried not to think about it too much, but at least once a day she caught herself subconsciously thinking about what kind of mother she was going to be. It usually happened when she was talking to other parents or when she was watching TV, and she suddenly became very opinionated in her views of parenting. She would find herself thinking things like 'I would never let my child do something like that' or 'that's not the right way to discipline your kid'. She was excited, it was true, but that feeling was far outweighed by one of fear. After all, she was currently in hospital, and that never meant anything good.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N OK, can I just say that the image of Nick holding a baby just made me swoon and go all gooey inside. Just imagine that (maybe him _shirtless_ and holding a baby...) for a moment, Nick fans, and then try to maintain composure. Tricky, huh? Believe it or not, I was never a big Nick fan until recently (even when I started this story I didn't really like him that much) but I have finally seen him for what he is – a total hotty! Anyway, this is the last chapter of this story. Unless I get the urge to continue, but don't count on it. It's been a blast, thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and review! [A/N This chapter was reuploaded on May 23rd due to page break errors]

Nick got out of his car at the crime scene and reached into his pocket for a pair of gloves. It was unseasonably cold out, and he was more than a little reluctant to leave the comparative warmth of his car. He snapped the rubber at his wrist and went over to the house. "What've we got here, Brass?"

"The vic, a Mr. Dennis Carlyle, stepped out of his front door this morning and was met with a barrage of bullets. He managed to get back inside, but he didn't make it much further. The Doc's with him." The detective went off to speak to a witness from across the street, a nervous looking man still dressed in his bathrobe at three o'clock in the afternoon.

Nick stepped cautiously over the threshold, trying to avoid the large blood pool at his feet. "What's up, Doc?"

"I'm guessing you don't need me to tell you how he died?"

"Probably not. How's the new guy doing?" he asked, casting a suspicious look towards Mike Dunn, Doc Robbins' new assistant. With his pointed face and sallow eyes, he was definitely not as easy on the eyes as his predecessor, who was probably in bed at the hospital watching daytime TV.

"The morgue hasn't been the same without Lily. Her replacement isn't exactly a barrel of laughs. Between you and me, he's an incompetent fool." Mike looked up upon hearing the insult, but didn't seem too bothered by the doctor's abusive comment – he had probably been described as something worse in his time.

"So you'll be glad to have her back then?"

"Will she coming back?"

"We can't really afford for her not to. It'll probably only be part time, though." Hearing his cell phone ringing from his pocket, he excused himself and stepped back outside to answer it.

"Stokes."

"_Nick, it's me."_ He smiled at the sound of Lily's voice. 'Talk of the devil,' he thought. _"Are you busy?"_

"I just got to a crime scene. What do you need?"

"_I need you here."_

"What's going on? What's wrong?"

"_The doctor says I'm going into labour."_

"Seriously? Oh my God..." He hadn't been expecting that. "Are... are you OK?"

"_I think so." _She surprised herself, and Nick, with how calm she was being. _"Nothing's really happening yet."_

"I'll be right there."

"_You're at work, will you be allowed."_

"My girlfriend's about to give birth, I think Grissom will understand."

"_Well, don't run any red lights."_

* * *

"I'm getting sick of this," Lily complained through gritted teeth. "Why can't I be one of those women who gives birth in the back of the car on the way to the hospital?"

"You're always saying how you enjoy a challenge."

"Just sit there reading that magazine, Nick, I'll just be over here giving birth to your child. Am I making too much noise, shall I try and keep it down?"

"Lil, the doctor said it's going to take a while. Just calm down and try to relax, OK?"

"Calm down? Relax?" She shot him a disdainful glare. "How about we switch places? Say, Stokes, how dilated do you think you are?"

"I'm sorry. But there's not anything I can do to help you."

"Just hold my hand and don't say anything else stupid."

* * *

Lily cried out in pain, feeling her eyes watering. She had known it was going to hurt, a lot, but nothing had prepared her for quite this much pain. In a weird a way, she felt kind of detached from the whole experience – apart from the pain – as if she was just an innocent bystander. She thought that she would be a little more scared than she was, but what she was feeling was more like excitement.

"Congratulations!" the doctor cried from the general direction of where all the action was happening. "It's a boy!"

Tears of joy replaced the tears of pain and began to trickle down Lily's cheeks. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion as her son was handed up to her. He had her eyes and nose, but she was glad to see that he had inherited his dad's dark hair. At least he wouldn't have that dreaded 'frizzy red' gene. She just couldn't get over the fact that he was hers, and that he was finally here. And she couldn't believe that just yesterday she wasn't sure if she even wanted a baby – looking down at him she couldn't imagine not having him. "He's perfect!"

"Wow..." That was all Nick could manage to say, seeing the tiny bundle in her arms. It was a total cliché, but the pride he felt looking down at this beautiful thing that he had helped to create was so intense it made his chest ache. Even though he was less than a minute old, Nick would kill for him in an instant. But he couldn't help but feel a little surprised at the fact that he had a _son_. "Um, Lily, I thought you were certain we were having a girl."

"I was wrong, it's not like it matters," she replied, feeling herself fall in love with her little boy. "At least he's here and healthy."

"And nameless. We didn't talk about boy's names."

"Well, honey, there's always Billy-Ray."


End file.
